Do you wish that you had all of the skills needed to always get what you want?  I think that’s something we all wish for!

That ability is called “negotiating.”  And it’s a very important skill to have at work and at home (I am speaking as a Mom–now my boys are 22 and 21 and I still need my negotiation skills!)  But this newsletter will focus on work negotiations.  Talking about a raise with your boss, a sales price with a potential customer, how a project might run with a co-worker–these are all things where the outcome is negotiated. 

So…how do your negotiations turn out?  If not so good…you are in luck! 

Keep reading for the keys to negotiating successfully!  Let’s start getting you what you want!!! 

Featured Article: Getting What YOU Want!

The first step in getting what you want may seem obvious, but I have found with my coaching clients that this is where their communication begins to break down.  

The first step is understanding EXACTLY what outcome you want. Be very clear in your mind what the negotiation outcome  should be before you even begin the conversation  Don’t make it up as you go (this is not the place to tap dance!) because that’s not dealing from a position of strength.  The key to successful negotiation is believing you have the power in the situation.

A big part of negotiating is where you make your compromises — and there will be compromises!  Know exactly what you want and how far you’re willing to bend or compromise.  If you start on either end, you know the perfect outcome and you know what will be completely unacceptable to you.  Where is the point you’ll say, “deal,” and where is the point where you’ll say, “no deal”? When you have those two ends, then you can see where the middle ground lies.

  I always encourage my clients to look at their communication strategically:  make a chart and graph it out. (I like pictures! I have my clients use mind-mapping quite frequently and in a variety of situations) List all of the points that you think will be discussed, and within each category, decide which responses or offers will be acceptable and which will be deal-breakers. 

The other side of this equation is the listener.  Do your homework and know what they have on the line in this negotiation.  What do THEY get or lose if they give you what you want? Know their hot spots and have your strategy to work around them ready. 

The next time you have to negotiate with a boss or a client or even your teenager, plan out your strategy beforehand.  Make sure the power is with you.  Then negotiate your way to a successful outcome!

 P.S. Mom knows best…even at work? You better believe it! My new book, From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom’s Wisdom on Leadership, proves that those “simple truths” from Mom – you know, the ones she repeated to you over and over…and over again – can be applied in the workplace for greater success than you can imagine!

I’ve coupled engaging and entertaining stories from my own experiences with business case studies illustrating how to apply lessons from Mom in your career. I also included stories from the dozens of powerful professional women I interviewed for this book! Check out my website KitchentoCornerOffice.com to learn more about my book and even read excerpts!

These are my sisters and mother, I am the oldest of the four of us girls …Kate is on the left and is the youngest (by 9 years…but who is counting!), Julie is next, then Mom, Me (check out my “on vacation” curly hair!) and Sheila.

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE

When I was little, I used to believe in the concept of one best
friend. And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up, you
will be shown the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you’re going through things with your
partner and another when it’s your boss!
Another friend is needed when you’re going through things with your parents.
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.

One friend will say, “Let’s cry together,’”

another, “Let’s fight together,”
another, “Let’s walk away together,”
another…”Let’s Do It!”

One friend will meet your spiritual need,
another your shoe fetish,
another your love for movies,
another will be with you in your season of confusion,
another will be your clarifier,
another the wind beneathyour wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life

 on whatever occasion,
on whatever day,
or wherever you need them to meet you…

 with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back to whip you into shape,
or in the kitchen with an apron on to teach you to cook your favorite meal,

or in a power suit and high heels to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself in front of your boss,…

…those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman,
but for many, it’s wrapped up in several……

Whoever these women are for you…they are your critical network! In these tough times we need our networks more than ever!

So to my Sisters…a big Love Ya Girls!!! And Thank You for always being there for me!

Featured Article: Michelle’s Guide to Making Friends (and contacts) at Your Next Conference!

I thought I would shake it up a bit with my article and give you a video instead.  This video is from a taping of my radio show.  Don’t be put off that it is titled for Small Business Networking, the concepts are applicable for everyone!  

If you like the video as an alternative now and then to a written article, let me know!   

P.S. Mom knows best…even at work? You better believe it! My new book, From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom’s Wisdom on Leadership, proves that those “simple truths” from Mom – you know, the ones she repeated to you over and over…and over again – can be applied in the workplace for greater success than you can imagine!

I’ve coupled engaging and entertaining stories from my own experiences with business case studies illustrating how to apply lessons from Mom in your career. I also included stories from the dozens of powerful professional women I interviewed for this book! Check out my website KitchentoCornerOffice.com to learn more about my book and even read excerpts!

Revealed in this month’s issue…

	A Note from Michelle: Using the Art of Storytelling to Land a Job…
	Lipstick Tip of the Month: Words of Wisdom About Unemployment…
	Michelle’s Guide to Getting a New Job: Tips on Finding a Job, Writing a Resume, and Acing the Interview…

I just returned from several weeks in California where I was working with clients and speaking at the WITI (Women in Technology International) Summit. The keynote that I presented – with my colleague, Ardice Farrow – was on the topic of storytelling as a management tool. The art of storytelling is an approach that helps people understand complex ideas and cultivate strong working relationships. Here are two great examples of how this works:

Understanding Complex Ideas

On the CBS show “Numb3rs” one of the main characters, Charlie, is a math genius. His brother Don is an FBI agent, and every week, he and Charlie work together to solve a crime (a little far-fetched, I know, but stick with me here). Charlie applies mathematical principles to the case to figure out where a next target might be, how the criminals are hacking into a system, where the perps are hiding out, etc. And every week when he spouts off mathematical jargon, everyone stares at him blankly. So Charlie always equates it to a real-life example; for instance, equating a “geographic network” and “supply chain analysis” to a garden and butterflies. Light bulbs go off over everyone’s heads!

Cultivating Strong Working Relationships

During my layover as I flew home to Connecticut, my oldest son Michael, a 21-year-old college junior, called me for a little advice (a mother’s dream!). He was getting ready for a series of interviews for his college internship with a huge global organization. The competition was going to be fierce (an excellent primer for him when he emerges into the real world), and I told him that the key to standing out in the crowd was storytelling. He needs to tell the story of who he is and how he can contribute to his potential employer – always keeping in mind that this is about what he can do for the company.

Michael remembered my advice, and when he went in for his interview, he told the story of how he, his experience, and his value could benefit the organization, rather than simply reciting a list of facts and statistics. Now, facts and statistics definitely have their place and are a crucial part the process (see my tips below on writing a resume), but in an interview, storytelling serves to create a connection between the interviewee and the interviewer. And that can be the difference between, “Can you start on Monday?” or “Thank you for your time.”

(In case you’re wondering, Michael has made it through the first 3 rounds of interviews and is waiting to hear if he was selected to fly to corporate headquarters for the final interview! I’ll keep you posted!)

The next time you’re in the running for a new job or a new position in your current organization, keep the concept of storytelling in your mind and use this skill to explain how your experience can be applied to the position in question and to form a relationship with your interviewer.

Keep reading to find out what other job-snagging tips I have for you! 

Lipstick Tip of the Month: Words of Wisdom About Unemployment…

“Getting fired is nature’s way of telling you that you had the wrong job in the first place.”
- Hal Lancaster, The Wall Street Journal

“We believe that if men have the talent to invent new machines that put men out of work, they have the talent to put those men back to work.”
- John F. Kennedy

“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden.”
- Orson Scott Card

Featured Article: Michelle’s Guide to Getting a New Job 

Whether you’ve been downsized as a result of our current economic woes, or you’re just unhappy with your current position and want to take the plunge into a new career, here are my best tips for finding the job, writing the resume, and acing the interview.

Finding the Job:

With all of the virtual tools available, it’s easy to hide behind technology! Sure, online is a great way to find job leads, but that doesn’t mean you should completely abandon the “old-fashioned” approach, especially when you’re fighting to be noticed in a flood of e-mailed resumes! Remember to first cast a big net online and then cultivate contacts live and in person if possible.

To make your mark on the person doing the hiring, try:

• Researching the company and playing “Six Degrees of Separation” to find someone in your sphere of influence to help get your foot in the door. Here’s where to leverage the information you can find on the Internet!
• Pick up the phone and make personal contact.
• Introduce yourself with a clear, concise, 10-second summary of who you are and what you want.

At the very least, you’ll have a direct contact to address your resume to, and if you’re lucky, you may even end up having a little pre-interview interview right there on the phone.

Writing the Resume:

Your resume is the cornerstone to landing your next job, and with all of the competition out there, it has to be ultra-appealing in format, in style, and in content. Aside from resume basics – no misspellings; customize it for the job/company you’re applying to; remember your contact info – here are a few other tips to keep in mind:

• Remember that your resume is your personal sales brochure. The theme? What’s in it for the person doing the hiring to choose YOU! Sell yourself as THE ONLY choice for the job.
• Highlight your skills and emphasize your achievements, but don’t forget to give credit to the teams you’ve worked on (no one wants to hire the person who puts the “I” in “team.”).
• Back up your experience and skills with statistics, endorsements, etc. to substantiate your claims and prove your value.

And the most important thing to remember: don’t lie! It will ALWAYS come back to bite you later on, mark my words. Honest confidence is a powerful tool in the job hunting process! You need to know your strengths on the inside to project them on the outside.

Acing the Interview

Interviewing for a job can be the most nerve-wracking experience in the entire job-hunting process, but it’s also one of the most crucial. It’s your opportunity to make a fantastic impression, show your confidence and professionalism, and expound on all of the amazing things in your resume that got you here in the first place.

The best way I can think of to ensure your interview goes smoothly is to point out some of the biggest mistakes people make – so you can avoid them!

• Not taking the interview seriously. Remember that you’re being judged and the interview is not just a formality. Prepare yourself and maintain an attitude and image of professionalism at all times. But don’t be a drone…keep your amazing personality in there!
• Not making the connections between your skills/experience and the job in question. Draw a picture for the interviewer so he or she can see what incredible things you can do for their organization. Don’t assume that your resume will speak for itself.
• Talking too much – especially about money or how awful your last boss was. Maintain the delicate balance between getting all of your points across and allowing the interviewer to speak as well. Talk about what YOU can do for THEM – not how much money they should be paying you. And remember: no one wants to hire someone who oozes negativity, even if your last boss was horrible. Focus on the positive.

It’s a tough economy out there right now, and unemployment is high. If you’re one of the unlucky ones who’ve lost a job recently, my heart goes out to you. I know you’re amazing at what you do, and other employers out there will know it too. If you follow these tips and allow your inner power, confidence and strength to guide you, you’ll land a new job in no time.

P.S. Mom knows best…even at work? You better believe it! My new book, From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom’s Wisdom on Leadership, proves that those “simple truths” from Mom – you know, the ones she repeated to you over and over…and over again – can be applied in the workplace for greater success than you can imagine!

I’ve coupled engaging and entertaining stories from my own experiences with business case studies illustrating how to apply lessons from Mom in your career. I also included stories from the dozens of powerful professional women I interviewed for this book! Check out my website KitchentoCornerOffice.com to learn more about my book and even read excerpts!

Revealed in this month’s issue…

	A Note from Michelle: America and the National Pastime of Selling…
	Lipstick Tip of the Month: Words to Sell By…
	Selling Sarah Palin: Applying Sales Principles to the Presidential Campaign…

As an executive and small business coach, I routinely work with my clients on strategizing all areas of their careers and businesses. Recently, I was meeting with a client to discuss her plans for transitioning from her corporate job to starting her own small business (exciting stuff!). When we approached the topic of sales, she lamented, “I don’t think I’m much of a salesperson. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get people to buy my product – even though I’m confident that there is a definite need for it out there.”

My response: “Are you kidding me?! Of course you’re a salesperson! We all are!”

It’s true. Every corner of our lives is occupied with opportunities and situations where we are selling our brand, our services, and our points-of-view.

In the home:
For those of you who have children, you know what an incredible salesperson you have to be with your kids. Getting them to go to bed on time; persuading them to eat their broccoli instead of cookies for dinner; encouraging them to do their homework, clean their rooms, and take out the trash – it’s all about selling! (Okay, even though for some of us, we use the sales technique of “Because I said so,” it’s still sales!)

In personal relationships:
Whether we’re handling spouses, friends or potential partners, we’re always wheeling-and-dealing. Convincing our spouses that a trip to the Baseball Hall of Fame isn’t really our idea of the perfect vacation…gently urging a friend not to buy the hideous dress that adds ten pounds to her frame…showing our date for the evening that yes, we ARE vivacious, intelligent and charming…we’re marketing ourselves and hopefully, getting everyone to “buy”!

In our careers:
This is potentially one of the best opportunities to put our salesmanship skills to work (no pun intended!). We draw upon our sales abilities to prove to a boss that we deserve that high-exposure project or to negotiate that pay raise. We strive to impress potential employers by creating a dazzling “sales brochure” (our resume) and pitching to them about the benefits of our experience (our interview).

In our business:
Just like my client beginning her small business, we entrepreneurs know we have an incredible product or service to sell, and in this world of intense competition for the customers’ dollars, we need to sell, sell, sell in order to grab our piece of the market. We create marketing campaigns to push the right buttons; we offer competitive prices and truly valuable solutions; we employ stellar customer service techniques to gain loyalty.

And at this time in our country, we have an excellent example of salesmanship splashed in the headlines, on the Internet, and in every single newscast: the Presidential election. In this month’s article, I’m going to use Vice President candidate Sarah Palin as a prime model of how to get people to “buy” into YOU! I find her to be an interesting example of salesmanship and wanted to share my thoughts with you! 

Lipstick Tip of the Month: Words to Sell By…

“The only way to know how customers see your business is to look at it through their eyes.”
- Daniel R. Scroggins

“Quality begins on the inside…and then works its way out.”
- Bob Moawad

“Sales are contingent upon the attitude of the salesman – not the attitude of the prospect.”
- W. Clement Stone

Featured Article: Selling Sarah Palin – Applying Sales Principles to the Presidential Campaign

Politics aside, let’s take a look at Governor Sarah Palin from a strictly sales perspective. There are key elements of sales that all good entrepreneurs and executives know and follow. And as consumers, we tend to gravitate to those businesses that follow these paths:

Likeability:
It’s common knowledge that we buy from people we like. Have you ever gone back to a store where the clerks treated you badly? Would you continue to work with a coach who you didn’t feel any connection with? Of course not! I’ve told you the story of driving to an out-of-the-way liquor store simply because my husband Rich and I like the owners. Likeability is a HUGE factor in sales!

By projecting an image of being an intelligent, down-to-earth person who is concerned with the same issues as many of her fellow Americans – we’ve all seen the pictures of her in her fishing gear and holding her baby – Sarah Palin is trying to come across as a very likeable person and someone who the voters would be more inclined to elect, rather than say, someone who was condescending, brash or completely out-of-touch with the realities of the world.

Finding Common Ground:
Consumers are often looking for a “connection” with the people that they’re purchasing from, some common ground that they can share, similiarities in experiences and even backgrounds. If you were going to purchase a car for your family, would you prefer to deal with a young bachelor or the family man who can understand your requirements?

By bringing her experiences as a mother and wife to the forefront – as well as her hobbies and elements of her everyday life – Palin is attempting to find that common ground and build that connection with other “hockey moms” (or “baseball moms” like me!) and people who share those same experiences.

Sarah Palin - AlaskaReport.com

 Branding and Image:
Along those same lines, business who enjoy excellent sales often have carefully crafted brands and images. They have the slogans that stick with us, the graphics and logos that spark recognition, and the overall images that strike a chord within us and make us say, “YES!” to their products and services.

Palin is trying to accomplish the same thing by drumming up support for the McCain-Palin slogan: “Country First: Reform * Prosperity * Peace,” but what I remember most is her “Hockey Mom and a Friend in Washington” brand. Her facial expressions project the image of being a fighter, someone who will go to bat for voters. And she’s working on creating a polished and professional look with her conservative clothes, signature up-do and chic frames. Considering the influx of purchases for those glasses she wears, I guess she’s doing a good job!

Overcoming Objections:
The number one barrier to making a sale is customer objections. No matter how fantastic your product or service is, be prepared to hear every objection to buying it under the sun. It’s your job to foresee why a customer would be hesitant to buy and to either address those issues in your pitch or have answers ready when they pop up.

As with every candidate, there are PLENTY of objections to Palin in the role of Vice President, and with every statement she makes, she is trying to address these concerns and shift the focus to the value she may bring to office.

Promotions:
If no one knows about your business, how will they ever find you or buy from you? Marketing and promotions are the crux of sales: you have to create compelling sales copy, develop images and graphics in a brand, and get your message out there through all types of media (print, Internet, TV, etc. depending on your marketing budget).

Palin – and all of the candidates in the race – are working overtime to get themselves and their messages across via every media outlet known to man. Her interviews with news correspondents like Katie Couric and Charles Gibson, the viral videos of her on popular Internet sites like YouTube.com, the speeches she’s giving across the country, her page on John McCain’s website, and even the parody of her on “Saturday Night Live” all become part of her promotional package.

Customer Service:
Without customers, you have no business, so it’s vital that you treat them right! By providing stellar customer service, you’re building strong bonds of customer loyalty that will keep your profits in the black.

According to Reuters, Palin has an 80% approval rating as governor of Alaska – this becomes part of her sales brand and projects that she really represents the people of her state. Her hope is that we Americans buy into that brand, and if history is correct, we will approve of her, too, in the White House. Will she be able to carry this kind of approval rating with the rest of America? We’ll see…

Whether you’re trying to bolster sales in your business or boost your career, keep these tips and insights in mind, and I’m sure you’ll see great sales success!

P.S. Mom knows best…even at work? You better believe it! My new book, From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom’s Wisdom on Leadership, proves that those “simple truths” from Mom – you know, the ones she repeated to you over and over…and over again – can be applied in the workplace for greater success than you can imagine!

I’ve coupled engaging and entertaining stories from my own experiences with business case studies illustrating how to apply lessons from Mom in your career. I also included stories from the dozens of powerful professional women I interviewed for this book! Check out my website KitchentoCornerOffice.com to learn more about my book and even read excerpts!

Revealed in this month’s issue…

	A Note from Michelle: Choosing the RIGHT Partner…
	Lipstick Tip of the Month: Teams and Collaboration
	When Does 1+1=12? When You Collaborate!

With the Presidential running mates on the verge of being announced at the party conventions in the next few weeks, the idea of strong, collaborative partners is on my mind.

How do you know if a partner is a good fit or not?

When is it smarter to stand alone, and when is it best to lean on someone else?

With divorce rates at an all-time high, how do we trust our judgment on the business partnerships that our livelihoods depend on?

Well, I’m certainly no expert on the subject, but as someone who just celebrated her 22nd wedding anniversary (as well as eight years in business with my husband Rich!) and who has coached countless businesses and corporate departments through the ups and downs of mergers and acquisitions, I have a few valid opinions on how to collaborate effectively to maximize your productivity and make a positive impact on the world…and your wallet!

Check out the article below for my best tips on creating a killer collaboration in business (and in life)!

Lipstick Tip of the Month: Teams and Collaboration

“None of us is as smart as all of us.”
- Japanese Proverb

“Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.”
- Andrew Carnegie

“Why should I clutter my mind with general information when I have men around me who can supply any knowledge I need?”
- Henry Ford

(And “women around me” too!)

Featured Article: Collaboration

“Collaboration: Two or more people working together toward an intersection of common goals. For example: an intellectual endeavor that is creative in nature. By sharing knowlege, learning and building consensus, you achieve more…faster.”

Collaboration is something that I’m always open to…though I don’t push for it all the time. I’m picky about who I collaborate with because it’s a decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

NETWORKING OPPORTUNITIES = COLLABORATION OPPORTUNITIES

As I meet new people, I’m always genuinely interested in getting to know who they are and what they’re working on. A person who exhibits passion for what they do is someone who I am instantly drawn to. My mind starts to race with thoughts of how I might be able to help this enthusiastic person! I guess that’s the coach in me!

My personal and professional collaborations have brought people into my life who have skills, interests, experiences and perspectives that are so different than mine. And just by knowing them, my life is immediately enriched! It’s in most people’s nature to be attracted to people who are exactly like them, but while that may be comforting, true growth comes with challenging oneself to see things from a completely different perspective.

RULES FOR SUCCESSFUL COLLABORATION

(NOTE: This also works for dating!)

1. Know what you’re looking for in a partner: What skills and knowledge are you missing? What voids do you need to fill in your business?

2. Know what you have to offer the partnership: What are you really, truly great at? Who might benefit from those skills while providing you with the benefit of their talents?

3. Look for complementary skill sets: Fight the urge to partner with someone exactly like you! Challenge yourself to open your mind to someone else’s point of view.

4. Communicate the expectations CLEARLY and upfront: For a collaboration to work, you and your partner(s) MUST be on the same page and moving foward in the same direction.

5. Define your roles: Who’s doing what? When? How? This is vital to getting work done!

6. Analyze your failures (How else will you grow and thrive?) and…

7. Celebrate your SUCCESSES (There will be both failures and successes, but hopefully more successes than failures!)

COLLABORATE THROUGH COMPLEMENTARY SKILLS TO GET PROJECTS DONE

Loyal readers of “Lipstick Leadership” and my blog may have noticed that for the past eight months or so, I started sharing my experiences with Ayurvedic medicine and Dr. Helen Thomas, D.C., an Ayurvedic Practitioner. She and her Ayurvedic methods have made a dramatic and positive impact on my life – so much so, our relationship has flourished into a bona fide collaboration!

This month, Dr. Helen’s practice, my company The Cove Group, and the amazing Web Solutions team (they’re the people responsible for our fantastic Internet presence!) have joined forces in a collaboration to bring Ayurvedic medicine and Dr. Helen’s vast expertise in this ancient, healing science to a global audience through a brand new entity and greater online presence.

Each group on our team brings their expertise to the table as we create something new and innovative to share with the world. While we’re all strong on our own, we’re even STRONGER through our affiliation with each other. Getting the RIGHT team together, for the RIGHT reasons based in a trusting relationship, is the key to success and speed! My favorites.

A COLLABORATION OF THE HEART

 Sometimes potential collaborative partners are inspired by something in yourself that you can’t even see, but that others see in you almost immediately. I experienced this at a gathering last November with Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of the sensational “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series and author of my book’s foreword.

At a cocktail party we both attended, we started speaking about how fear holds people back from achieving all that they could and how when you survive a near-death experience, you see yourself differently and consequently, you live your life with a different approach. He had no idea that at 23, after being attacked and beaten badly, I became a rape survivor.

As I gave him my perspectives on this experience and the path my life has taken since then, he began to tear up and asked if I would be willing to share all of that with other women. He saw in me something that I didn’t see in myself: someone who could help women find their way out of the darkness and back into the light. In that moment, we started a collaboration of sorts.

His desire to help injured women combined with my ability to speak and write about my own experiences resulted in the beginning of a journey for us to make a difference in the world. This common intersection of goals became a collaboration of the heart.

Mark has been my advocate and my cheerleader since then, as I captured my story on film and have begun writing about it. I call this an “inspirational collaboration.”

Today, I challenge you to go out there and begin investigating possible collaborations for your business, your career, or even your personal life.

P.S. Mom knows best…even at work? You better believe it! My new book, From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom’s Wisdom on Leadership, proves that those “simple truths” from Mom – you know, the ones she repeated to you over and over…and over again – can be applied in the workplace for greater success than you can imagine!

I’ve coupled engaging and entertaining stories from my own experiences with business case studies illustrating how to apply lessons from Mom in your career. I also included stories from the dozens of powerful professional women I interviewed for this book! Check out my website KitchentoCornerOffice.com to learn more about my book and even read excerpts!

Revealed in this month’s issue…

	A Note from Michelle: “Lipstick Leadership Week” – A Can’t-Miss Event!
	Lipstick Tip of the Month: Inspiration for Your Attitude
	“It’s Just Fine!” Bringing Positive Vibes into the Workplace

Over the course of this eZine, I’ve shared a lot of stories about the amazing women in my life and all that they’ve taught me. Women like my mother Mimi, my grandmother Mops, my great Aunt Jennie, my Aunt Marie, and so many others have imparted wisdom to me that I’ve translated into success in my personal and professional lives. (My new book “From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom’s Wisdom on Leadership” is a testament to that!)

Now it’s YOUR turn to share what you’ve learned from the incredible women in your life!

The week of July 28th through August 1st is “Lipstick Leadership Week!” What better way to honor your mother – and mother figures – than by sharing with the world how they’ve touched your life and helped make you the success you are today! I’m currently collecting stories on my website: www.KitchentoCornerOffice.com, and during “Lipstick Leadership Week” I’ll be posting those stories on my blog at www.MichelleYDrake.com/blog, create a center of “Mom’s Wisdom” that people can learn from and enjoy! (EDITED: “Lipstick Leadership Week” is over and thanks to all of the submissions we received, it was a huge success! See for yourself at my blog.)

Let’s make this an annual event, shall we? 

Lipstick Tip of the Month: Inspiration for Your Attitude

“When you wholeheartedly adopt a ‘with all of your heart’ attitude and go out with the positive principle, you can do incredible things.”
- Norman Vincent Peale

“Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results.”
- James Allen

“You see things, and you say ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were, and I say ‘Why not?’”
- George Bernard Shaw

Featured Article: “It’s Just Fine!”

My mother, Mimi, is the queen of positive attitude. Her credo can be recited by every child and grandchild in our family: “It’s just fine!” I learned the lesson of how to turn the perception of a negative situation into a positive situation – and sometimes even a game – at her knee. Examples of this invaluable lesson date back to my very early years and span the range of insignificant to serious incidents.

IGNORE THE WEATHER: LET’S HAVE FUN!

I can remember many a vacation that could’ve easily been ruined by poor weather, but not on Mimi’s watch! If it rained on the ski slopes, we donned plastic garbage bags over our ski gear to keep us dry as we whooshed down the mountains. If it rained at the beach, we danced around in it wearing our bathing suits at Mimi’s request. She led our family in a way that set the stage for joyful expression in every activity. It didn’t matter if the circumstances were less than ideal – Mimi’s positive attitude made everything better!

LENTIL SOUP…WITH JUST A HINT OF SHAG CARPET

During one particular ski trip when I was a teenager, we had an incident that challenged my mother’s “It’s just fine!” attitude. Mimi had prepared enough lentil soup to feed our family of seven for several meals. As she put the pot onto our camper’s stove burner to heat it up, my father decided to “level out” the camper. When it lurched to one side, the lentil soup went flying all over the olive-green shag carpet! With my father still outside unaware and Mimi facing the prospect of not having food for us five hungry children, she turned on her positive attitude and found the solution.

She leaned over to us and said, “Shhhh! I’m just going to scoop up the soup from the top and put it back in the pot. It never touched the floor, and it’s just fine! Don’t tell Daddy!” Mimi refilled the pot with the soup and had it on the burner and out of the carpet before my father came back inside.

That night we all ate lentil soup for dinner, and my father even complimented the chef! Mimi led with her positive attitude, and we followed…though a bit grudgingly that day!

POSITIVE ATTITUDE IN THE FACE OF DISEASE

This attitude has created a persona that Mimi has passed on to my sisters, my brother and me. Every leader needs a way of seeing the world and we, like Mimi, choose to see the events that occur (good and bad) as opportunities for new experiences and growth.

In a recent phone call with Mimi, she shared that she had great news. “My doctor told me that I have Parkinson’s disease,” she said. “In what world is that good news?!” I asked. “Shelly, the doctor told me that the tremors I’ve been having were caused by either a brain tumor or Parkinson’s. I figure I got the good news!”

That “just fine” attitude is still in full force today and helps my mother continue to lead her team - my family – toward new adventures. What a powerful lady! My hero…my mom!

P.S. Mom knows best…even at work? You better believe it! My new book, From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom’s Wisdom on Leadership, proves that those “simple truths” from Mom – you know, the ones she repeated to you over and over…and over again – can be applied in the workplace for greater success than you can imagine!

I’ve coupled engaging and entertaining stories from my own experiences with business case studies illustrating how to apply lessons from Mom in your career. I also included stories from the dozens of powerful professional women I interviewed for this book! Check out my website KitchentoCornerOffice.com to learn more about my book and even read excerpts!

Revealed in this month’s issue…

	A Note from Michelle: My Book Launch…
	Lipstick Tip of the Month: The Importance of Balance
	7 Steps for Work/Life Balance

Appropriately, during this month when we celebrate Mother’s Day, I’m finally launching my new book “From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom’s Wisdom on Leadership!” I’ve tried to honor the amazing women in my life with this book by sharing stories of how they raised their families and taught me simple but powerful lessons that I’ve applied with great success to my life and work.

My mom Mimi (pictured with me below) has achieved near-celebrity status among the people who’ve already read about her unique approaches to juggling the demands of her family and her career as a teacher. The tips that follow have shades of Mimi written all over them; I am, after all, my mother’s daughter, and I’ve tried to follow in her footsteps as I maintain the balance between my work and my life.

I’d also like to take this opportunity to say that I am humbled and thrilled by the response I’ve been getting to “From the Kitchen.” The fact that this book reads like a novel but also contains vital information for getting an edge at work is striking a chord with my readers. I’d love to hear your comments, too! If you’re local (CT or RI), I’m going to be signing books on Saturday, May 10th at two locations:

Essex Books, 1 Essex Square, Essex, CT: 11 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Borders Books, 915 Hartford Turnpike, Waterford, CT: 3 p.m. to 4:30 p.m.

If you’re too busy to fit in a trip to the bookstore – as so many of us mothers are - maybe the tips below will help you find some balance, and hopefully, a little extra time for yourself. Hope to see you at teh bookstore!

Lipstick Tip of the Month: The Importance of Balance

“I’ve learned that you can’t have everything and do everything at the same time.”
- Oprah Winfrey

“We can be sure that the greatest hope for maintaining equilibrium in the face of any situation rests within ourselves.”
- Francis J. Braceland

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony.”
- Thomas Merton

Featured Article: 7 Steps to Work/Life Balance

With the ever-increasing demands on our time constantly pulling us in every direction, is it any surprise that our lives sometimes feel completely unbalanced and out-of-control? There are only so many hours in the day, and there never seem to be enough when we’re juggling the needs of our families, our careers, our friends and ourselves. Tasks fall through the cracks, people are disappointed, and we’re left feeling frustrated, exhausted and even guilty at the end of the day.

BEFORE OUR FRAZZLED NERVES SEND US OVER THE DEEP END, HOW CAN WE BRING BACK BALANCE TO OUR LIVES?

I have 7 steps to attaining work/life balance that I’ve used successfully with hundreds of clients, but before we get to them, I want to dispel a dangerous fallacy that’s floating around out there. Many people think that to have balance in their lives they need to devote equal amounts of time to each area – and that’s just not true!

Trying to evenly dole out your time to every aspect of your life is a recipe for frustration and failure. To attain true balance, you need to understand that certain areas will demand more attention than others at certain points in time. It’s been my experience that in the end, everything evens out if you remember to follow these 7 steps:

GIVE YOURSELF SOME BREATHING ROOM

Step 1: Commit yourself to accomplishing something and to enjoying something every single day. Too many of us go to sleep at night feeling like all we’ve done during the day was for nothing, and far too many of us neglect to do even the simplest of things that will bring us joy. We’re too focused on trying to keep one foot in front of the other, and we forget that our lives are finite and that there may not be a tomorrow to do the things we love.

When you review your day, acknowledge everything that you have accomplished even if it’s only a small piece of a bigger project. And every day take the time ot do something you can enjoy, even if it’s only listening to your favorite music or treating yourself to a great cup of coffee. Feeling a sense of accomplishment and joy during your day will go a long way toward achieving balance.

Step 2: Determine your goals and what success looks like. If you’re floundering around unsure of what you want to achieve, you’ll never feel that sense of accomplishment and peace that’s so vital to balance in your life. You need to have a clear vision of your goals in order to put forth the actions that will help you attain them. When you know what you want, it becomes a focal point that can keep your life steady when it starts to tilt out of control.

Step 3: Evaluate your choices and how they relate to your goals. Claiming that you can’t quit the job you hate or you can’t control the behavior of your kids or you can’t say no to a friend is a cop-out. You have choices, and if your life is out of balance, maybe you’re making the wrong ones. It’s your responsibility to take a brutally honest look at yourself and the path you’ve chosen and decide what changes need to be made to get you on the path to your goals. Take some quiet time – even if it’s only a few stolen moments of peace in the bathroom! – and think hard about your life. Pinpoint what choices are leading it astray and start to look for alternative ways to get it back on track.

Step 4: Find time for YOU. It’s easy to get caught up in one aspect of your life and have that aspect completely take over. Balance is about making sure that YOU have what you need for today as you work toward tomorrow. The word “selfish” always has so many negative connotations, but being selfish is a key element to work/life balance because you’re no good to anyone or anything if you’re not re-fueling and re-charging and you’re neglecting your own health and well-being. You have to know when to say, “Stop!” and give yourself the time to take care of yourself so you can continue to take care of everything around you.

Step 5: COMMUNICATE! Communication usually plays a negative role in the struggle for work/life balance because lack of it often causes imbalance to begin with. Without open lines of clear communication, we tend to fall into the very stressful trap of thinking that we need to do everything ourselves so it gets done and it gets done right. Not true! If we can effectively communicate our needs to our families at home and to our colleagues at work, we can then work together as a team to fulfill them. Don’t assume that everyone already knows how you feel – tell them! You’ll be surprised at how many people will want to help you get your life back in balance.

Step 6: Simplify and get organized. So many of my clients complain that they don’t have the time to spend on getting things organized, and my response is always the same: “Well, how much time are you wasting because you’re NOT organized?” The answer: TONS. If your desk is always a mess at work, how long do you spend rooting around looking for a particular file? If your house is always a wreck, how much time do you waste searching for lost shoes and keys and important papers? Invest the time to get organized now so you have more time in the future to focus on exactly what you need to accomplish and what joyful things you want to do (Step 1). You’ll find that as your space gets more organized, there will be fewer distractions, less stress, and a greater level of efficiency, and all of that equals better balance.

Step 7: Share the load. The media and the entertainment industry have fed us this image of the perfect wonder woman who can do it all on her own: be at the very top of her career, be a perfect mother and wife, keep a spotless house and still find time to bake award-winning cookies! Well, I don’t have to tell you that the reality is, there’s just not enough time in the day to do all that on our own. We need support both personally and professionally, and we shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for it. At work, learn the strengths of each team mamber so tasks can be delegated to those whose skills are best suited to complete the tasks successfully. At home, call upon your spouse, your family and your friends to help you out when you’re overloaded. And offer to do the same in return to help others achieve work/life balance as well!

Though this approach may not be the most traditional way to attain work/life balance, I’ve found that with my clients it has proven to be the most successful. As you work through these concepts, you’ll find yourself making the choices you need to un-compliscate your life or at the very least, give yourself a little bit of breathing room. And remember: because our lives are in a constant state of transition, it’s important that we go back to these steps again and again to consistently maintain work/life balance no matter what changes are thrown our way. 

P.S. Mom knows best…even at work? You better believe it! My new book, From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom’s Wisdom on Leadership, proves that those “simple truths” from Mom – you know, the ones she repeated to you over and over…and over again – can be applied in the workplace for greater success than you can imagine!

I’ve coupled engaging and entertaining stories from my own experiences with business case studies illustrating how to apply lessons from Mom in your career. I also included stories from the dozens of powerful professional women I interviewed for this book! Check out my website KitchentoCornerOffice.com to learn more about my book and even read excerpts!

Revealed in this month’s issue…

	A Note from Michelle: Don’t Let the Tax Man Get You Down…
	Lipstick Tip of the Month: Is There More to Life Than Money?
	Money Talk: How Do You Invest In Your Future…

Yesterday morning I went to the Post Office bright and early and was surprised to find a long line of very glum-looking people waiting inside. Then I remembered: tax returns are due this week! Dum-da-dum-dum!

Money is on our minds more than usual as we file our returns, send the governement what they claim we owe, or – for the lucky ones – anticipate a refund check. But I’ve had money on the brain for the past few weeks because I just returned from a three-day retreat in North Carolina with Mark Victor Hansen and his Mega Inner Circle group. Our topic? Money, of course! We spent the duration in the Biltmore House on the Vanderbilt estate, and surrounded by the opulence of this magnificent setting, we discussed leadership and money, specifically, the relationship and the responsibility between the two.

I was fortunate to meet a man named Mark Rothstein, host of the “Mr. Money” radio show on CBS radio and owner of a financial advising firm in the L.A. area. He spoke to us about inveting and really boiled down the process to its most elemental terms – I share some of his insights in the article below. I invite you to check out his website at www.Harmoney.com to find out about the training retreats he offers.

In September, I’m partnering with a financial planner from Australia named Cydney O’Sullivan and a thought leader from California named Ardice Farrow, and we’re planning a program on women and their relationship with money – how to get it, how to keep it, and how to manage it. The first event will be held in Carlsbad, CA, but we’re hoping to bring it across the country. I’ll have more details for you soon!

But in the meantime, since we can’t escape the issue of our finances, let’s face it head on and explore our relationship with money, how we communicate about money, and when we have a little extra, how to make it work for us and contribute to our success. So read on and prosper!

Lipstick Tip of the Month: Is There More to Life Than Money?

“Money will buy you a bed, but not a good night’s sleep, a house but not a home, a companion but not a friend.” – Zig Ziglar

“Holdup Man: Your money or your life? Come on, hurry up!”
“Benny: I’m thinking it over!” – Jack Benny

Featured Article: Money Talk

Make Money Work FOR You!

Money is a “double-edged sword” and the “root of all evil.” We have a love-hate relationship with it: we love it when it’s rolling in, and we hate it when it’s rolling out. So is it any wonder that we’re often uncomfortable discussing the topic of cold, hard cash? Even though it’s an awkward subject, it’s one that absolutely must be explored. We need to be able to communicate about money clearly and effectively if we’re going to be financially and personally successful.

Stop Undercutting Yourself and Your Business!

If you operate your own business, money comes into play in a huge way whether you’re establishing a fee for your services, closing a sale with a client, or negotiating with a vendor. So many of us are afraid to charge what we’re worth, and we end up undercutting ourselves dramatically. We’re afraid to ask for better prices or try to make discount deals, so we end up paying full price (and sometimes more).

It’s time to let go of those fears and take control of our financial situations!

Objectively evaluate what you bring to the table and price those products and services accordingly. If you package yourself and your products/services properly, customers will see the value and won’t hesitate to pay a fair price. When dealing with vendors, remember: it never hurts to ask! Do your reearch and compare prices, and approach vendors with mutually beneficial deals for discounts. I think you’ll be surprised at how flexible they can be if you’re both saving and making money.

Stop Apologizing (Or Being Too Aggressive) When Asking for a Raise!

And if you work for someone else, money is still a big part of the picture! Your ability to communicate about money is directly related to your financial success. The situation that seems to stump most people is asking their boss for a raise. Usually people fall into one of two categories: either they’re apologetic or they’re extremely aggressive. Land somewhere in the middle by being prepared to show the connection between the amazing work you’re doing and the success of the company. Remember, you’re not entitled to a raise simply because you show up every day. You need to prove your value to the organization, and if you’re ready to do that, negotiating a salary raise will go much more smoothly.

Now, let’s say your business is raking in the profits or you’ve gotten that much-deserved pay increase: what do you do with that extra cash?

Invest Money Into Your Future! How? Read On!

Normally, the thought of sitting through a lecture on investing isn’t tremendously appealing to me. But I was lucky to be part of the Mega Inner Circle group that listened to Mark “Mr. Money” Rothstein talk about investing. He provided us with some fantastic, easy-to-understand general tips, and I’m excited to share them here with you.

1. Get a financial education. Now, I don’t mean that you should enroll in college and get a degree in finance! But it’s so important to educate yourself on the investing process and the different types of investment opportunities there are out there. Find someone who can explain things clearly, someone who is engaging and willing to answer your questions so you know the difference between index funds, bonds, and CDs (no, not the kind that play music!). Mark also recommends reading the Money section of USA Today; it’s a great way to keep on top of the economy and money news.

2. Evaluate your current financial status and your comfort level with risk. It’s important to know how much you can invest, so figure out how much money is coming in, how much is going out, and what’s left over to invest. You don’t want to leave yourself strapped for cash and trying to explain to creditors that your money is “all tied up in investments!” Examine your financial picture and assess how risky you’d like to be with your investments. Determine what level of risk you can live with and focus on those types of investments.

3. Set your financial goals. What are you trying to achieve with the money that you’ll be making from these investments? Are you saving for your children’s college fund? Are you planning for retirement? Do you want ot have more income to travle or purchase big-ticket items? Understand your ultimate financial goals so you can plan your investments accordingly.

4. Hire a financial consultant. Reaching out for help and support is one of my favorite pieces of advice. You don’t have to go it alone, and if you’re a novice at investing, you shouldn’t try to go it alone. Dig around and do research on financial advisors so you can choose one that will be trustworthy and will help you attain your financial goals. And remember: be an educated consumer. Have at least a basic understanding of the investing process and types of investments (see tip #1) before committing to a financial consultant.

5. Choose your investments. You now know about the different types of investments; you’ve evaluated your financial status; you’ve set your financial goals, and hopefully, you’ve found a trusted expert to help you along the way. Now it’s time to choose what you want to invest in! Remember what Mom always said: “Don’t put all of your eggs into one basket!” An excellent piece of advice for investing! Choose a diversified portfolio that includes various levels of risk (up to the point that you’re comfortable with) and various types of investments.

6. Finalize your investing plan and stick to it! Make a commitment to your investments and keep a close eye on their progress so you can adjust along the way.

Now go out there and invest in your future!

P.S. Mom knows best…even at work? You better believe it! My new book, From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom’s Wisdom on Leadership, proves that those “simple truths” from Mom – you know, the ones she repeated to you over and over…and over again – can be applied in the workplace for greater success than you can imagine!

I’ve coupled engaging and entertaining stories from my own experiences with business case studies illustrating how to apply lessons from Mom in your career. I also included stories from the dozens of powerful professional women I interviewed for this book! Check out my website KitchentoCornerOffice.com to learn more about my book and even read excerpts!

Revealed in this month’s issue…

	A Note from Michelle: Women’s History Month!
	Lipstick Tip of the Month: Celebrate “She-roes!”
	Listen to Your Mom…At Work?

Since 1987, March has been home to Women’s History Month, an opportunity to spotlight and honor the “her-story” of the amazing women who have shaped the world with their sacrifices and accomplishments.

We have a special reson to celebrate this year’s Women’s History Month as we witness history in the making: Hillary Rodham Clinton’s bid for the U.S. Presidency. Now, I generally don’t like to throw my hat into the political arean, but I have to admit: love her or hate her, she is opening doors – previously sealed shut – for women everywhere.

Could there be a female U.S. President in our near future? It always seemed like a pipe dream, and now it may become a reality. But regardless of how Senator Clinton fares in this race, the impact of her success thus far will create new opportunities for generations to come. The feminine leadership perspective is rising to the forefront of the world and the business world (where it should be!) and we as women need to be prepared to take the reins and propel ourselves right to the top.

This month, I challenge you to follow Senator Clinton’s lead and step up to a leadership role in your business or organization. You have the tools within you to succeed as a powerful leader; draw upon your unique feminine perspective and apply it to the workplace. I think you’ll be surprised at how far it can take you. And maybe during the next Women’s History Month, we’ll be celebrating YOUR achievements!

Lipstick Tip of the Month: The Importance of Balance

“How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes!”
- Maya Angelou

“Each of us brings to our job, whatever it is, our lifetime of experience and our values.”
- Sandra Day O’Connor

“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.”
- Erma Bombeck

Featured Article: Listen to Your Mom…at Work?!

Mom always knows best – even in the workplace! Applying the advice and wisdom from her kitchen can help you reach the corner office. Take it from someone who knows: as a daughter, a mother of two and the CEO of a corporation, I have continually drawn upon the words of my mother (and grandmothers, aunts, sisters, and in-laws) to find the leadership skills that have catapulted me to success. It has become so important to me to recognize the women in my past who have shaped me into the woman I am today – and I LIKE the woman I am today!

FROM THE KITCHEN TO THE CORNER OFFICE: MOM’S WISDOM ON LEADERSHIP

The wisdom of past generations of women is so near and dear to my heart, I even wrote a book about it! I’ve kept you posted on the progress of my book “From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom’s Wisdom on Leadership” (Morgan James Publishing, May 2008), and now I want to share with you a sneak peek at some of the insights it contains.

SIMPLE TRUTHS FROM MOM – AND HOW TO APPLY THEM AT WORK

Here are three of my favorite lessons – or “simple truths” – that I’ve learned from the incredible women in my life:

1. Don’t wait until the eleventh hour to let your ideas shine. My grandmother always brought her “A-game” to everything she did, including being a professional golfer in the 1920s, and she taught me to do the same.

Don’t let anyone or the fear of failure intimidate you into hiding your best ideas or your best self in the workplace.

2. Leaders emerge from all levels of an organization and can influence everyone from the top to the bottom. As one of twelve children, my sister-in-law Pat stepped up as a leader in her family by taking on more responsibilities, and as a result, she was able to influence her parents and lead her siblings.

Whether you’re the CEO or the receptionist, you have more power than you think. Step out of the confines of your position in the organization and become a leader!

3. Mentoring and preparing the next generation for greatness is every leader’s responsibility. When I asked my Aunt Jennie to teach me how to make her delicious homemade bread, she agreed…but made me work hard for the recipe. She taught me that a true leader provides her people with the tools for success and teaches them how to rely on themselves to reach a goal.

Honor the female role models of your past by becoming one to someone else. Share the wisdom you’ve amassed with the next generation, and do your part in creating strong female leaders for the future.

These are only a few of the nuggets of truth I’ve compiled in “From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom’s Wisdom on Leadership“. I invited you to read the book for yourself! I’ve shared many entertaining – and often hilarious – stories about my experiences with the female leaders in my life, and I’ve collected quotes and stories about “Mom’s Wisdom” from dozens of other women, too.

But this book is more than just funny stories. It’s about applying this wisdom in the workplace for career advancement, better pay and prestige, and to position ourselves at the very top of our organizations. What better way to honor the amazing women in the past than by being powerful women leaders now and in the future!

I invite you to read excerpts of “From the Kitchen to the Corner Office” and learn more about it at KitchentoCornerOffice.com.

P.S. Want more secrets on how to advance your career? Check out The Success Strategists Professional Development Master Kit! These 20 audio CDs have tools, strategies and insights in the areas of: career empowerment, getting the job, image and networking, leadership, navigating the workplace, and teams. Click here for more info!

Revealed in this month’s issue…

	A Note from Michelle: Mixing Love and Business…
	Lipstick Tip of the Month: “What I know is…” – Oprah Winfrey
	Show Some Love: The Ultimate Customer Appreciation…

In this month (only a woman could turn a day – February 14th – into a a month-long celebration!) dedicated to love, I thought it would be appropriate to write about how love and business can become a powerful combination. If mixed correctly, that is.

There are many ways to mix love and business. I believe any business that is without love is doomed. Whether it is a salesperson’s love for the product, an executive director’s love for the mission, a customer service representative’s love for the client…love is a critical element at work that makes a difference.

Last month, I wrote to you about my son Kevin’s quest for acceptance into college last year and the letter that I wrote on his behalf (“WARNING: A Lack of Leadership Could Be Hazardous to Your Career“). I’m sure you were able to see the love in that letter…but did you see the sales copy? I was “selling” Kevin as my product for the college to “buy into” as the perfect solution to their “problem” of filling the incoming freshmen class.

I was selling him as a quality product, a good risk, a person who could give back to the collegiate community. It was sales copy combined with a product demonstration (his interview) and a spec sheet (his transcript) that supported our sales copy. He got accepted and made the Dean’s List his first semester (I’m his mom: I get to brag!). I loved my product and so I sold my product in a way that could not be denied. A perfect example of love in business.

Lipstick Tip of the Month: Oprah Winfrey

“What I know is, is that if you do work that you love, and the work fulfills you, the rest will come.”
- Oprah Winfrey

Featured Article: Show Some Love! The Ultimate Customer Appreciation

Having the highest quality product or service doesn’t guarantee your business will be successful – you also need someone to buy what you’re selling. Obtaining long-term, repeat customers can only happen when they feel they have a positive relationship with you. Building a positive relationship can only happen if your customer likes doing business with you. They have to feel “the love.”

Ask yourself: why would someone want to do business with me? Why wouldn’t they? Think about being a customer: what would make you feel valued in the relationship? And believe me, if you’re doing it right, it’s a relationship! Here are some “loving” business relationships that translate into dollars…

I’LL DRIVE FURTHER TO BUY FROM YOU

I have some friends who own a liquor store about fifteen minutes from my house called Cove Ledge. (Notice I call them friends. I didn’t know them before I stepped foot into their store, and I never see them socially, but they are considered “friends” when I walk into their shop.) Though there are three or four closer liquor stores to my house, I drive the extra distance because Tim and Maggie – the owners of Cove Ledge – know me by name, know my hobbies, know my family and always inquire about what’s new with me. I also know about their dreams for the future and commitment to the community because they engage me in conversation and are friendly and personable as I shop with them. This is such a simple technique, and it makes a world of difference! They have successfully combined love and business in the form of customer service and a husband/wife partner structure.

UPSCALE CLOTHES…UPSCALE CUSTOMER SERVICE

Mitchells of Westport, a clothing store in Westport, CT, understands the value of long-term relationships with their customers. This very high-end, family-run clothier takes customer service so seriously that the CEO of Mitchells/Richards, Jack Mitchell, wrote a book about it: “Hug Your Customer.”  It’s a great study in the love behind growing a brand that is all about servicing the customer. Jack Mitchell and his team have practiced customer service by extending “hugs” – unexpected extras that include knowing each customer’s name as well as their family members and clothing preferences, to handing out free coffee and newspapers on the Greenwich commuter train platform, just to say “thanks.” They show their customers “the love.”

THERE’S ONLY ONE JEWELRY STORE ON MY LIST

Majestic Jewelers is run by another set of “friends,” Suzette and Chuck. When I feel the need to splurge on some jewelry, there is only one store I will go to. Besides having the chicest customer jewelry (Chuck creates it himself), Suzette takes an interest in her customers and their success. She helps to make important networking connections and is always available to her customers. She spent as much time with my teenage son on a $70 purchase for his girlfriend, as she did with my husband on a purchase that was significantly more (and she didn’t even know he was my husband until he got to the register!). I don’t need to go anywhere else for jewelry because Majestic Jewelers gives me what I need: beautiful product and “the love.”

INCORPORATE “THE LOVE” INTO YOUR BUSINESS

Take some of these things to heart and think of ways to apply simple relationship-building concepts to your business.

In this spirit, I ask:

Do you love your job?

Are you doing work that you feel passionately drawn to?

What would it be like for you to joyfully head to work each morning?

How will you incorporate love into the business of your work?

How are you building relationships that will be both personally and financially rewarding?

Incorporate “the love” into your business and reap its rewards. Happy Valentine’s Day!

P.S. Mom knows best…even at work? You better believe it! My new book, From the Kitchen to the Corner Office: Mom’s Wisdom on Leadership, proves that those “simple truths” from Mom – you know, the ones she repeated to you over and over…and over again – can be applied in the workplace for greater success than you can imagine!

I’ve coupled engaging and entertaining stories from my own experiences with business case studies illustrating how to apply lessons from Mom in your career. I also included stories from the dozens of powerful professional women I interviewed for this book! Check out my website KitchentoCornerOffice.com to learn more about my book and even read excerpts!